Jermaine Jenas

Jermaine Jenas [Jur-mayn Jee-nuss]
-noun
1. A midfielder for English Premier League club Tottenham Hotspur
2. Someone who cannot seek out appropriate players to pass to in the game of football.
3. A player who cannot put a free kick on target. Also known to knock the ball into row ZZ on a semi-regular basis.

4. Midfielder who cannot kick a ball into an empty net from 2 yards out.
5. Twat.

I know this may sound harsh, but that is just the way it is in this mockery of a blog that I’m putting together. I wrote some harsh statements about the pretty boy midfielder at the very beginning of the season. Realizing it may have been too soon, I backed off of my criticisms and let the play speak for itself. Well, guess what? I did that and it has only infuriated me on a level that pretty much sends me into the seventh layer of hell as it relates to how much Mr. Jenas annoys the piss out of me. Case and point: 23/09/06. The travesty of a game against Liverpool that he had makes me borderline ill. Let me sum up. First half. Gets down the right side with regularity. However, does nothing of any consequence with it as he spectactularly sends crosses flailing into (and over) the 18 yard box with the skillset of a donkey getting pissed off at its owner and mule-kicking him in the nads. Also, manages to scare several fans halfway up the Kop once or twice. I say he just lacked confidence in his shot. He'll say he just wanted to keep them on their toes. The second half is where a vein almost popped out of my forehead. It is nil-nil as Danny Murphy and Edgar Davids link up on a fanstastic play that springs the Dutch pit bull running straight at Pepe Reina and all is looking glorious for my club. The glory is heightened when Davids sees a streaking player running into the box and picks him out for a sure goal. Nobody can screw this up. We're going 1-nil up at Anfield! GOAAA--.................................. WTF?!?!?!?! One thing runs through my mind. F'ing Jenas. Sure enough, The bloke announcing the game confirms my dread. "Oh, Jermaine Jenas misses an empty net!" Yeah, no shit. Who else on Spurs misses that shot? I'm not sure if it is just a case of mailing it in on a regular basis or just thinking about potential tail he might pull later on, but this mockery of a season has got to end sometime soon, doesn't it?

Perhaps later this week I'll have a proper post which doesn't blast any one particular player, but this guy is gettin' on my tits in a massive way.


Until later, Mike.
Frustrated as all hell Spurs fan as I weep inside.

Yeah! I sure do suck this year!